That New New Year

All you need is love… but Champagne is nice too. Also, Beyoncé.

We have arrived! Happy 2017, you Gorgeous Creature!

We are officially two weeks in to the New Year… Did you make resolutions? If so, how are they working for ya?

I read approximately 482 articles on resolutions this year. To make them or not to make them. How to stick to them. Why they suck. What to do instead… blah blah blah, over it.

I made a list, half heartedly, because apparently resolutions are so-last-yearrrrrr – but I did it anyway and, SHOCKER, thus far I have failed miserably at carrying them out.

This is not about resolutions being bad or pointless, or me not setting up enough systems or asking the wrong questions. {I mean, it is, but….}

If we break it down, resolutions are about wanting to be the best version of ourselves possible. We tend to focus on what’s not ideal in our lives in order to make an effort to change those things and, thus, be better/happier/more fulfilled.

So why do we fail at implementing things that we know will benefit us?

LOVE.

Ummm, What?

Yes.

Love. Self love.

You may be thinking, “Mmmm, nope. No, Caitlin, you’re wrong I’ve actually worked REALLY hard to love myself and I meditate and I journal and only eat alkaline foods so I’m pretty sure I’m good over here…”

In fact, that’s what I thought.

Then I came across a f*^!ing pin {of course} on Pinterest about how to love yourself.

I was reading off the items and proudly mentally proclaiming, “check!” alongside each when I got to one called “Mirror Work.”

It basically said to stand and look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love yourself. {Side note: how many yourselfs in a sentence does it take to love yourself? The world may never know}

Anyway, I was like, “Oh come on… I love myself, but this is a bit much. I don’t need to be ridiculous about it. This is some woo woo unnecessary BS going on here.”

Then, Mark {my husband} called me.

He was having a rough time. He was doubting himself. He was in a mood. He wanted to be the best he could be but that was coming out as questioning himself and focusing on flaws.

So, I went to build him up. I reminded him of some recent accomplishments, some tough conversations he initiated, areas of growth. I listed, without having to think, some of his best qualities, the things that make him unique and powerful and wonderful.

And, of course, I told him I loved him.

When I hung up, just for fun, I looked in the mirror and stared right into my own eyes and said, “I Love You” and immediately burst into tears.

If I truly loved myself the way I thought/pretended I did, I should be able to tell myself, “I Love You” and list off my best qualities as easily as I could to Mark or to my parents or best friends.

But instead… I cried.

So I continued to look in the mirror, I stepped outside of myself, came from the perspective of someone who loves me, and redid the conservation I’d just had with Mark: pointing out my own recent accomplishments, areas of growth and some qualities that make me unique and magical and fabulous.

It didn’t come as easily as it came when I was speaking to him, but it felt SO GOOD to say it/hear it. And I really believed it, too.

I just looked back at my list of resolutions and I still agree with all of them. They are still goals I want to reach and actions I want to take, but my perspective on them is shifting.

They aren’t flaws or failures I need to fix or overcome, they are gifts I can give myself on top of all the other fantastic parts of my complicated, incredibly badass life.

Striving to be our best without genuinely loving ourselves sets us up for failure because it comes out as punishment for not being where we think we should be, rather than the next accomplishment in a long chain of previous accomplishments.

So I’m asking you, no matter how you feel about yourself or how ridiculous you think it is, to look yourself in the mirror today and say “I love you,” then list at least 10 reasons why. If you can’t think of things think of what your significant other / parents / friends / kids would say.

I promise it will shift your perspective.

PS- the pin said to do this every day. CRAZY, right?! Except, if we don’t tell the people we love that we love them on the reg, how will they know? #FoodForThought

Xx,

C